Imagine you have an employee named John who consistently complains about having to assemble the weekly reports because it’s repetitive and boring.
It’s been getting on your nerves for a while, and you’ve convinced yourself that he has a bad attitude when it comes to work and needs to improve it.
You plan out how you’re going to talk with him about the issue and call him into your office. You start off by saying, “We need to talk about your attitude,” and he hits the roof.
“What are you talking about? My attitude’s fine.” The conflict escalates, and now you’ve got to deal with the fallout.
You could’ve avoided the escalation by keeping the issue at the surface level. Nobody likes doing mundane things, so it makes sense that John doesn’t want to do a tedious task.
Instead of being angry that he isn’t happy about doing boring work, you could address what’s upsetting you, John’s complaining.
An alternative approach would be, “Hey John, I know doing the weekly reports is annoying, and it’s okay if you don’t like making them. What’s not okay is you going around to everyone in the office on Fridays to complain about having to do the reports.”
John might disagree about whether it’s appropriate to complain to everyone, but at least the conflict stays at a surface level instead of getting into personal territory.
Have you ever seen a minor issue escalate into a major conflict because someone focused on personality instead of behavior?
References: Watzlawick P, Weakland JH, Fisch R. Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution. WW Norton & Company; 1974.
Address Issues At The Appropriate Level
