“If only I had a better manager,” or “Someday, I’ll speak up.”
These are the lies that keep us stuck. Not because we’re lazy or blind, but because fantasies are safe, comforting, and they don’t require us to act. They make avoidance feel like patience.
👉 We love our “if onlys” and “somedays” because they give us something to point to when we’re stuck. They’re placeholders that sound productive while buying us time to do nothing.
They let us off the hook for being accountable because if “someday” never comes, we get to say, “See, it wasn’t my fault.”
I’ve stayed in bad roles waiting for a promotion that never came.
I’ve seen managers keep giving second, third, and tenth chances because they hoped that someday a direct report would suddenly mature.
I’ve watched leaders stall change initiatives for months because they wanted unanimous support that was impossible to get.
We all made the same mistake of choosing the comfort of a fantasy over the discomfort of action.
👉 If you’re stuck, stop waiting for things around you to change and start asking, “What am I afraid to do because it might not work?”
Fantasies might be free, but they still cost us time, energy, and the potential for growth. If you want to move forward in life, you’re going to have to trade in your fantasies for action.
💡 “Someday” is a hope, but today is a choice.
What’s one fantasy you cling to in the workplace?
References: Berne E. What Do You Say after You Say Hello?: The Psychology of Human Destiny. Random House; 1975.
Post Title: “If only” and “someday” are the two biggest lies we tell ourselves to avoid facing reality.