Reverse psychology doesn’t lose power when the other person notices it. It works because of the relationship, not the element of surprise.
Let’s say a manager has an employee who keeps saying, “I’ll never be good at presentations.” The manager has already tried to encourage them, offer tips, and provide other forms of support.
👉 It might be worth trying reverse psychology. The next time the employee has a presentation coming up and says, “This is going to go terribly,” the manager can switch gears and agree with them.
“You’re probably right. I mean, public speaking isn’t for everyone, and we can have other people present your work for you from now on.”
At this point, the employee might feel relieved and accept your proposal, or they might push back: “But then other people might get credit for the work I’m doing. Even if you tell them I did it.”
“I agree that might happen.”
Suddenly, the conversation has shifted and could go in a new direction.
💡Even if they recognize what’s happening, that recognition doesn’t break the effect. In fact, when someone says, “You’re using reverse psychology,” what they’re really signaling is, “This isn’t the usual game we play. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to respond.”
Sometimes offering advice that’s the opposite of what people expect relieves the pressure to make a change they’re uncomfortable with.
Consider giving it a try.
References: Haley J. Learning and Teaching Therapy. Guilford Press; 1996.
Post Title: If someone says, “You’re using reverse psychology on me,” the correct response is, “Yes.”